JOLIE EGAN

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What does it mean for you to 'Behold'?

When Pastor Josh preached the first sermon in this series, it was the first time I’d ever really noticed that the scripture is “Behold, I am.” Then it goes on to talk about how He’s sending us out. What that means to me is that the first thing you need to do is to see God and be struck by who He is. To behold is to ask myself: am I taking the time to see God’s heart and His face, rather than looking for His hand and what He can do? When you do that, everything else will flow quite naturally. Knowing who is sending you is much more important than knowing where you’re being sent because the destination can change. Abraham, for example, was just called to go. There was no set destination. Like Abraham, we are called to a person, not a place. Jesus is the true north.

What areas in your life do you have to let die to see Him more clearly?

For me, it’s always the sense of control. That has been a part of my life since I was so young. When things break down from a family standpoint, then having control and having lists and knowing what you’re going to do is your semblance of keeping it together. Another big one is ambition. Letting ambition die so I’m not tethered to my worldly identity, my idea of success and my time frame for moving forward. It’s so counterintuitive, but letting that die is when I really see God’s favor pour out in those areas.

How does God intersect your daily life at your workplace? How do you bring him into what you're doing each day?

Doing things well—a spirit of excellence—is a testament to His excellence and magnificence and the skills and talents that He’s put inside me. I want to use my talents in a way that reflect Him. I have the privilege of leading a team, and I think that’s the biggest place where I can bring Him into my workday. By being in prayer for those people, or coaching them in a way that reflects the Bible. Even if it’s not an outright conversation about church, I’m sowing seeds. But there are also moments where it makes sense to have a bold conversation, and I’ve learned to recognize them and not shy away from them.

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How do you find space to rest in Him in busy workweeks?

It’s not easy, and I'm the first to admit that. Getting into the Bible is huge, but it doesn’t have to be for an hour. You could read something for five minutes and get what you need for the day. Doing the things you love and that refresh you are part of resting in Him, too, whether it’s finding time to go to the gym or eating well. And by making sure I’m constantly pouring into others. In the Bible it says those who refresh others will also be refreshed. There’s not always time to catch up for dinner, or coffee, but being in the headspace of praying for people is so refreshing to me.

When have you experienced God making a way where there was no way? 

God called me to walk away from my corporate job and do two years of Bible College. He took me on this journey of finding that my identity is not tied up in my job or being successful, and when I came to New York and joined the corporate world again, this time it was with His blessing. I excelled in my job quickly—promotions, etc.—because of that revelation, and because I had given up control. I knew I had been on this journey and I was professing it: that I am God’s and I work unto Him, and He is my audience. Then, He gave me a moment to actually live what I was saying. I walked into work one day, and my company was very top heavy, and I was told my position was no longer needed. It’s really significant to me because my visa is tied to my job. So being let go from this job meant I didn’t know what that meant for my future here in the city. I was a week out from having to leave the city, and the job offer came through for the role I have now. In the very conversation in which I got laid off, I was given the lead for the job I'm in now.

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Sometimes the call of God can feel like a task rather than a relationship. Tell us about a time or experience where you felt this way and how did you navigate out?

I think in those moments where it feels like a task, where the weight of it is bearing down on us, we need to remember that the call is not a task; the call is to relationship. I host a Dinner Party. There are days I come home and I’m exhausted and all I want to do is sleep, but pushing through those moments has been the most powerful. God honors the obedience to keep pushing toward the vision. It takes getting outside of myself and acknowledging that one conversation that evening could completely change the course of someone’s week. I just love that He is so faithful to honor that obedience, and He’s not ignorant of our physical limitations or our mental capacities. The sweetest moments come out of those moments of just being honest with Him. He’s so quick to respond with the grace to keep going.

What do you feel like your specific calling is, who are you sent to?

I’m called to Jesus, and I love that this series is a reminder of that. In terms of being sent, I think right now I’m without a doubt sent to be in the corporate world. As a woman in the corporate world and as a Christian, I'm bringing those two things together. Being in a position of leadership in my job, I can have a soft heart and love people but also do my job well—and to do this job to the glory of God. Ultimately, my mission is to tell His story and to be salt and light in that in whatever context He’s placed me.